Get Smart

I know I'm not supposed to focus on the negative, but in order to improve myself, I can't always ignore the long list of things at which I suck. Like swimming, which I never learned how to do, and math, which my daughter also needs help with. When she recently asked me what 8 x 4 was, I said "24", and she replied "Okay", then Joe said "Oh my god! It's 32!". That's one of the reasons we need him around.

Another thing I've never done well is stand up for myself. Even with years of MA training, sometimes I think I may as well have a stamp on my forehead that says "doormat", for the amount of people I've let walk all over me. When I do actually try to stand up for myself, I do it so badly that it often comes out all wrong. I let things get to the point where I'm emotional, and then instead of being civilized, I'm more like "Fuck you, you fucking fuck!", which usually doesn't go over very well, and makes me look (and feel) bad.

Recently in Jiu-Jitsu class when my partner didn't immediately let go when I tapped, I just kind of took it, and I didn't really say anything to him. After the incident, my teacher Amy advised me that if someone doesn't stop when I tap, then I have permission to punch them in the face, but I don't want to handle it that way.  I already know how to flip the bitch switch and fight back when I need to, but now I would rather learn to be smarter about it .  If I had punched that guy, there's a chance I could've ended up seriously injured, instead of just in pain for days.

I know there's a middle ground between passive acceptance and hostile retaliation, I just haven't personally found it yet. One of the good things about being aware of the things you do badly is that you can work on improving them if you want. I see no reason why I should learn how to swim, because I am as far away from the Atlantic Ocean as I can be without getting any closer to the Pacific! I also don't think I need to get any better at math, as long as Joe (or a calculator) is around, but properly standing up for myself is something I still really need to work on.

Murder was the Case

Back when I used to be a hairdresser, there was a guy who would often come in and hang out at my place of work.  Because I was the newest person there, many of the receptionist duties fell to me, and that guy would bring in papers which I would zerox for him on a regular basis. He had some mental issues, and he was well known around Lincoln for riding his bike everywhere.  He liked to tell us about how he always won amateur strip contests at a local bar.  He was not attractive, and the people were voting for him as a joke, a fact of which he was not aware.

A couple of times after work, he followed me as I walked to a nearby grocery store, and he would talk to me as I was shopping.  He did creep me out a little bit, but I mostly felt sorry for him, because he was picked on by so many people, and he wasn't even aware they were making fun of him.  I always treated him with kindness, because I thought he was odd, but harmless.

About the same time that I started working at a different salon, a young woman in Lincoln was found murdered in her apartment.  Sometime after that, they arrested that guy for her murder.  There was a ton of circumstantial evidence against him, but he was set free after some DNA didn't match.  No one else has ever been charged with the crime.  I believe that most people in Lincoln still think he did it, and that he got off on a technicality. 

Every once in awhile I still see him riding his bike around town, and it's a little unsettling.  I don't really want to believe that he did it, but there's a good chance he did.  If so, it bothers me that my intuition didn't perceive him as a danger, and if not, he is despised by an entire community just for being different.  The worst part is that the family of the victim never got any closure.  I don't know if he's guilty or not, but I'm glad he never followed me home.

Stranglehold

A common self-defense scenario involves being grabbed in a choke hold from behind, which is why we usually practice the defense for it at all of the self-defense classes we have at the dojo. This also allows us to practice a standing rear naked choke as an offensive technique, because it's frequently the tactic employed in these types of attacks, and it's a very useful self-defense tool.

Defending a standing choke is actually easier than on the ground, because your attacker has no body control. The same defensive methods should be employed; getting your hands on their arm to block, tucking your chin in, turning towards their elbow. Ideally, you would like to get turned to face them. Using a technique such as a foot stomp or elbow strike is also recommended, to help give you an opening for escape.

If you are unable to escape or get turned around, and they are not pulling you off-balance, one option that you are already halfway set up for is a hip toss. You should throw them on the side of the arm that's holding you. If they don't let go of you on the way down, you simply land on them.

If your attacker is taking your balance by pulling you backwards, one option is to try to reach your leg behind you (again on the same side as the arm that's around your neck), and hook their leg from the outside, using it as a lever to turn yourself around, and sweep them in the process. They are more likely to let go of the choke with this method, because the mechanics make it hard to maintain, but if they don't, again you land on them.  Both of those techniques can be done while still keeping your hands on their arm to block.

Neither of those options work very well if your attacker is really pulling you backwards.  In that scenario, they are probably going to take you to the ground, so your goal is to be ready for it, and to not get choked out before you get there. If you end up on the ground and you are still being choked, it should be much easier to escape than from a standard back-control choke, because it's doubtful that they will have any kind of hooks in (unless they are a Jiu-Jitsu Fighter, but we all know that Jiu-Jitsu Fighters do not go around choking innocent victims...they don't have to, because they have plenty of willing victims ;).

Whatever you do, don't allow this to happen to you...

Making sense of self-defense

Writing a post that covers self-defense is difficult, because the concept varies greatly depending on who it is intended for. People who train martial arts are able to delve more deeply into the subject, and their focus is usually centered around the particular art they train (Judoka throw their attackers, Jiu-Jitsuka fight from the ground, Karateka strike and gouge out eyeballs...I'm generalizing, please bear with me). Self-defense training for them focuses on the strengths of their system, and it allows them to utilize more advanced techniques by building the necessary muscle memory.

People who do not train martial arts cannot learn this type of self-defense. It would take an entire training session to teach them just one technique, and it's doubtful that they would even remember it, let alone be able to effectively use it against an attacker. Even after I "learned" how to, it still took me months and months (and months) of practice before I was able to actually escape being mounted by a big dude during open mat.

Therefore, self-defense for non-martial artists has to be as simple and intuitive as possible. When Joe, Skyler, and I taught our self-defense class to untrained women, we did not really teach them any Karate, Jiu-Jitsu, or Judo techniques. We just taught them effective ways to disengage from the situation at the earliest possible time.

If you are attacked, it is highly unlikely that someone is just going to run up and tackle you. If you are a man, it's more likely that they will throw a punch at you, a woman will probably be grabbed. In a rape situation, he will have to somehow get a hold of you first (it's also important to note that not all rapes occur on the ground, you could also be pinned against a wall, etc). Therefore, the smart thing for women to do is to learn how to escape from grabs. The sooner you can free yourself and get away, the better chance you will have (this goes for both trained and untrained people).

I'm not going to go into all the different ways to escape from grabs (partly because I can't completely figure out how to explain on paper...or whatever it is the internet is made of ;) but I will discuss one of the easiest ways. No matter how they are grabbing you, if you can get a hold of the two middle fingers on their hand and pry them back, they will usually let go. Any combination of fingers could possibly work, but the middle two are ideal. It's also recommended that before trying to escape from the grab, you first distract them with some sort of percussive technique. An excellent choice is a good old-fashioned foot stomp. It's easy to remember and execute, and it's very effective.

The goal of this type of basic self-defense is to be able to get away from the situation as soon as you possibly can. The moment that you are no longer being held is the time to make your escape. Once you break their grip, you need to run like the wind, and yell as loud as you can "Call 911!" Most people have phones these days, and while they might not be willing to risk themselves to help you, studies show that they will call the police.

Everything we practiced in our basic self-defense class ended with the women running away.  So I guess I would say that the number one rule of self-defense would be to try to stay in good enough physical shape that you could run away if you ever had to.

"Keep it simple, keep it practical, let it make sense."- John Roseberry-Shihan

Keep it simple

Yesterday, the Ethridge's taught a women's self-defense class at the Lancaster County Health Department, for City of Lincoln employees, and I think it went very well. I have to admit I was a little nervous, because we've taught several children's classes, both in and outside of the dojo, but this is the first time we've ever taught a group of adults all on our own! We received a lot of positive feedback from the students, and the person who organized it said she would like to open it up to more people if we would be willing to do it again. Absolutely!

I was glad that I was not hindered by my injured wrist, so I was able to be a fully contributing member of the team. The highlight for me was probably when Joe had me in a standing rear naked choke, and I threw him with a hip toss. We didn't teach that to them, but we wanted to show what was possible with some training, and it was definitely a crowd pleaser!

I would never want to give anyone the impression that they can learn comprehensive self-defense in one class. We didn't try to teach anything complicated, and we explained to them that unless they practice regularly, they probably won't even be able to remember the simple things when they are in a stress situation. However, most of those women came into that class with no idea of what they would do if someone attacked them, and now they have a plan. A simple plan is better than no plan at all, and it might just give them enough confidence to not simply accept being a victim.

Grrarrring

I know that some people call submission rolling "sparring", but for simplicity I usually just call it grappling, and I call stand-up striking sparring. Then I got to thinking about what I would call it when we practice rolling with striking (you know, MMA style). Strolling? Um, no. Sparpling? Strappling? Grarring? Oh, I kind of like that one, but it needs more rrrrr's...grrarrring. "I'm going to the dojo to grrarrr!"

Whatever you want to call it, I don't train it enough. Grappling is a lot different when striking is involved, and I think focusing too much on submission rolling can give a false sense of security when it comes to self-defense. I might be alright on offense with only Jiu-Jitsu, but if I could not defend against strikes, I could be at a big disadvantage. I've seen some great Jiu-Jitsu fighters lose MMA matches because they couldn't seem to figure out how to stop getting hit.

Luckily, my Karate training has taught me how to defend against striking, but I rarely practice that skill on the ground. When I have done it, I was really surprised by how much it changed everything. Although I am very comfortable with either rolling or sparring, when they are put together it's whole new game, even when the striking is just light contact. It would be even more of a challenge in a real-world situation.

I've seen people training MMA at the dojo, and other fighters in local matches, where as soon as the fight goes to the ground they appear to forget that they can strike. This seems to particularly affect those whose main style is submission grappling. It's not really Mixed Martial Arts, or complete self-defense, if you just practice the arts separately.  You have to put them all together to get the full advantage.

Don't Put Your Hands On Me

When I hear women say that they train martial arts strictly as a sport and they aren't concerned with the self-defense aspect, I have a hard time wrapping my mind around that. I don't think there's anything wrong with sport training, but if you're doing it anyway, why not also occasionally think about using it to defend yourself ? If it's because you don't believe you'll ever need to, I hope you're right.

Lincoln, Ne. is a medium-sized city with a small town feel, we do not have a high rate of violence. Yet, while living here, my aunt was the victim of a home invasion rape and robbery. She did not know her attacker, he kicked in her front door while she was asleep. My aunt was 4'11", 100 pounds, and he was over 6', 250 pounds. He brutally and repeatedly raped and beat her within inches of her life, and she was never the same again. There is a chance that if she had tried to defend herself, he could have killed her, but I believe it was a risk she would have been willing to take if she knew how. She always slept with a knife under her pillow after that.

My aunt never thought anything like that would ever happen to her either, but it did. She stayed with my grandma for awhile after it happened, and when my family was there visiting, I slept in my aunt's bed with her because she didn't like sleeping alone. I'm still haunted by hearing her cry about the abuse in her sleep. I think that incident forever changed me, too.

As someone who has also been a victim in my past, I know what it feels like to have no control and to be helpless, and I never want to feel that way again. That is why it's so important to me that the martial arts I'm training are valid and useful in real life. There's a 99% chance I will never have to find out, but that 1% chance is more than I'm willing to risk.

So, when I say things like "I will gouge out your eyes", in my mind I am talking to the kind of monster who brutalized my aunt and destroyed a part of her. I can guarantee that anyone like him does not want to mess with me. I really do not want to ever be forced to have to hurt someone, but I want to be prepared for it if I ever do. I want to at least have the option of fighting back against this kind of violence. I wish more women felt the same way.

In Your Eyes

After my last blog post, Danger said that in the picture of my RNC it looks like I'm trying to go for an eye gouge. I kind of wish that was the case, because at least that would make sense, but that's not really how we gouge eyes in Goju.

Roseberry-Shihan's Karate teacher, Master Seikichi Toguchi, was a big fan of attacking the eyes. He would say things like "Why do I need to punch the makawari to make my knuckles hard when I can just stick my thumbs in your eyes?" Eye striking and gouging are an integral part of our system. A Judoka who observed one of our kata said that it looked like we were plucking fruit off of trees, and he was 100% right...if you substitute people for trees, and eyeballs for fruit.

Shihan talks about a Martial Artist he once knew (I believe he practiced Aikido) who said that he thought Karate was undignified because we utilize techniques such as eye-gouging. That same mindset might be what's behind the hesitation I've seen from some of the new Karateka when they think about actually attacking someone's eyes. It seems as though female students especially have a distaste for the ick factor of it. I'm sorry, but if someone is trying to rape and/or kill you, that's not really the time to be lady-like.

If I was to ever resort to something like gouging eyes, it would definitely be in defense of my life and body, and I'm certainly not going to be a bit concerned with whether I'm being dignified at that point. I will use any tool that I can to defend myself. If I didn't, it would be like carrying a gun for self-defense but not being willing to actually shoot someone if you had to. You can bet that if the need ever arises, I will not hesitate to grab that sucker's head like a bowling ball and throw it down the gutter.

Stunning

My women's jiu-jitsu teacher Amy and I were talking yesterday about self defense, and she mentioned that in the heat of battle a person often feels little or no pain, so a lot of techniques may not be as effective. She is a law enforcement officer and she's dealt with a variety of resistant people in many frames of mind, and sometimes on various substances. One technique that she recommends is the brachial stun.

This is a strike to the brachial plexus origin, the nerve motor center on either side of the neck. It short-circuits your brain and causes it to temporarily shut down. A powerful and well-placed brachial strike can take out even the biggest, strongest, craziest person, and render them unconscious for a short period of time. I have personally seen it drop people to the ground from standing. I've had it done to me at about 40% and it's almost like being shocked.

It is a non-lethal technique with no lasting injuries, but I believe most law enforcers are only allowed to strike with the palm or the back of the hand for safety reasons. In self defense you can strike it with any body part, and in karate we are commonly taught to hit it with a ridge hand (palm down, striking with thumb side). This makes it impact over a smaller area and increases the power. However it's a more difficult strike because you have to be more accurate.

Amy also pointed out that in Daitoryu Aikijujitsu (which she has also trained) they always perform a percussive technique before attempting an armbar, wristlock, choke, etc. It's a lot easier to control someone if you knock them a little silly first. A great way to accomplish that is by stunning them.

The rooster goes "cock-a-doodle-doo"

My post on psychological warfare (Power of Suggestion) made me think about some of the advice Shihan gives concerning self-defense.  He says that if you are ever attacked, you should do something really bizarre, like start clucking like a chicken.  The theory is that it will take your attacker's brain some time to process it, and hopefully give you an opportunity to escape.  It might even make them change their mind about chosing you as a victim, because no one wants to fight with a crazy person.  Seriously, if someone started clucking, wouldn't you be like "Woah, I'm outta here!"

I just don't know if I would have the presence of mind to be able to remember to do something like that if I was attacked.  To make it an ingrained response, I think you would have to practice it, just like any other technique.  As if my dojo guys and gals don't think I'm weird enough already!  "Um, why is that lady over there clucking like a chicken?", "Oh, that's Gina, just stay away from her.  If you get too close, she will jump on your back and start wailing like a banshee."

Street Rules

At the last jiu-jitsu tournament, I jokingly asked Shihan if he wanted to do an exhibition match with me. He said "Sure, but I'll tell you right now that I am going to cheat. The first thing I'm gonna to do is grab one of those chairs right there and crack you over the head with it." I love this man! He has a lot of fun phrases that he likes to use. I think my favorite one that he's ever used when referring to me is "If you're going to fight Gina, you better bring a baseball bat."

One time when I was grappling with my daughter and I did something that she considered "illegal", I told her that there were no rules on the street. She responded "Oh, if I'd known we were playing by street rules, I would have brought a gun." That's my girl!

If people question how I feel about rules, they need look no further than the teachings of John Roseberry-Shihan. He knows what it's like to try to survive under street rules, and how focusing your training too much on sport fighting, and it's accompanying limitations, can affect your scope and ability to fight when the rules aren't in place. Obviously, we can't train and compete without any rules at all, but we have to be aware that they can hinder our training. Shihan would never advocate breaking rules in a competition setting, but if you only practice your art under strict adherence to, and focus on, a rules system, you're not really learning self-defense. Which is fine if that's what you want, but Shihan and I would rather lose in competition than on the street.

I Fought the Law

One interesting fact about Sho-Rei-Shobu-Kan hombu dojo is that behind John Roseberry-Shihan; in Karate, Judo, and Jiu-Jitsu, the head instructor is a police officer. John Pitts-Sensei, our Dai Sempai-San, has been with the Lincoln Police Department for thirty-six years, and he has trained with Shihan for the last thirty-four of them. As part of his job, he teaches other officers to defend themselves.

I know that the things these instructors teach me will work on the street, because they have each had many years of real world experience to draw from. They don't teach useless self-defense strategies. Following Shihan's theory of "keep it simple, keep it practical", they know that in a stress situation your abilities often revert to the lowest common denominator, so we focus on things that are uncomplicated, and proven to work. They also know how important it is that physical confrontation only be used as a last resort.

In my (ahem) wild youth, I probably would not have found being surrounded by police officers as comforting as I do now, but I think it goes to show the validity of our school. If the officers who are sworn to serve and protect the people of Lincoln trust in Shihan and his training to keep them safe, then it's more than good enough for me.

“The mistakes you make on the mat can get you tapped out. The mistakes you make on the street could get you seriously injured or killed. I have no doubt that my Jiu-Jitsu training has afforded me the skill to take control of threat situations and end fights before they started. When matters have became physical, I’ve been able to end them effectively and without undue injury to either party.”- Conan Schafer-Sensei

I Choke People

The picture at the top of my blog: hadaka-jime, aka rear naked choke, aka my favorite submission. I'm not saying it's the one I tap people out with the most (that would probably be sode guruma-jime, or maybe sankaku-jime), but it's the one I like the best. It's just a very simple and effective technique that is made for skinny crow-bar arms like mine. I like it so much that my preferred method of hugging my dojo friends is to jump on their backs and RNC them.

Whenever we work on defensive tactics training at the dojo, we always do a form of rear naked choke. It has been called "The Great Equalizer", because it allows a small person to effectively defend themselves against a larger one. This makes it a perfect tool for people like myself. It can be effective either standing or from the ground, and it doesn't require the use of clothing. The guillotine choke, aka my second favorite sub, is also applicable for those reasons, since it is essentially the same choke put on from the front.

During my karate black belt test I was asked what my favorite technique was, and I said choking. In a self-defense situation, I don't want to be exchanging punches, trying to break arms, or resorting to eye gouging. If I can choke someone, then get the hell out of Dodge, that's what I'm going to do. Shihan always says "Let it make sense", and that just makes the most sense to me.

However be warned: if you attack me and I am unable to choke you unconscious, I will gouge out your eyes and not think twice about it. Don't try me! Wouldn't you rather just take a little nap?

Kill 'em with kindness

Shihan often says that your goal should be to destroy your opponent's will to fight you. This can have very different connotations, depending on the situation. In a tournament, it could mean being aggressive and relentless. In a cage match or street fight, it could mean being brutal and punishing. But my favorite interpretation is one that goes back to Sun Tzu and The Art of War..."To fight and conquer in all your battles is not supreme excellence; supreme excellence consists in breaking the enemy's resistance without fighting."

On the street, the best way to destroy someone's will to fight you is before the fight has begun. A great example of this is a story that Gary Gabelhouse-Sensei tells about the time he was at the dojo and a homeless drunk guy wandered in, looking for a fight. The man was raring to go, and Gary-Sensei could have easily subdued or beaten him. Instead, Gary killed him with kindness. He asked the man if he needed a ride somewhere, or something to eat. Showing compassion for him, instead of responding to his anger in kind, took all of the fight out of the man. That is how you destroy someone's will to fight you.

When my husband and I teach self-defense classes to kids, we tell them that the number one rule of self-defense is to be a nice person, then it's less likely someone will want to fight you. Of course, that isn't always the case, which is why we teach them practical techniques as well, but a little kindness can go a long way. By being tolerant and understanding of other people's point of view, many conflicts could be avoided. Courtesy, manners, respect...there's a reason these things are part of our training.

"You're not learning this thing to fight in the street, you're learning this thing to not fight in the street."- John Roseberry-Shihan

Safety Dance

A couple of weeks ago in karate class, my husband and I were demonstrating a defense to a standing rear choke that involved me sweeping him to the ground. One of the karateka quipped "You know, most couples just go dancing". Well, martial arts is how Joe and I dance.

When we spar or grapple, it's usually a pretty intense fight, neither of us is there to play. We have both recently given the other black eyes during training. Some people seem to think that this is weird, or that we like to hurt one another. The truth is we train this way to help, not hurt, each other. I want to know that the skills I am learning are going to work in real life, and the closer I can get to that in practice the better chance I'm going to have. I need a partner who isn't going to take it too easy on me, but who knows the limits and doesn't go too far. There is no one on earth I trust more to do that for me than my husband. It just makes sense.