Lazy

For most of my life before I started training at the dojo, I was really good friends with Lazy. We would hang out and do, well, nothing really. Sometimes we would just sit on the couch and watch TV, or play video games. Although we never did much, Lazy and I used to have some really good times together.

Then when I started training, I tried to tell Lazy that we couldn't be such close friends anymore, but sometimes Lazy still stops by and attempts to talk me into staying home from the dojo and doing nothing instead. I try to not listen, but Lazy can be a bad influence on me. I was warned I shouldn't hang out with the wrong crowd, and now look at where it's gotten me!

The worst part is that every once in awhile Lazy even tags along to class with me, always whispering in my ear that I'm tired, and I should quit. I think the real problem is that Lazy is jealous when I actually do things because Lazy has never accomplished anything! I really need to stop letting Lazy hang out with me.

"And though it's wrong to be, I long to be Lazy." -Ella Fitzgerald

Zombie

I've been so sick this week that I was pretty sure I had caught the virus which would lead to my death, and then cause me to return as a zombie.  I was convinced the zombie apocalypse had begun, which was kind of exciting, but then I was mad because instead of getting to kill zombies, I was going to be one!  All of the preparation I've put into learning the best ways to kill zombies would have been for nothing.

Luckily, it turns out I just have a bad cold, so it probably won't kill me.  That's a really good thing, because since I'm a trained ginja, I imagine I would make one hell of a zombie.  I'm glad no one is going to have to try to protect their brains from me. 

If I was a zombie, I think the first place I would probably attack is Jiu-Jitsu class.  Let's see those guys try to choke me while I'm biting their faces off!  The last people I would want to attack are the Kobudo students, their weapons are all capable of doing some serious zombie damage!  Actually, even though all of the ginormous brains at the dojo would be very tempting to my zombie self, I would probably be better off just avoiding it altogether, and heading down to Walmart or something.

I haven't grappled for a week.  If this stupid cold isn't gone soon, I think I would rather just turn into a zombie than have to suffer any longer.

"My mama always told me someday I'd be good at something. Who'd a guessed that something'd be zombie-killing?" -Tallahassee

The Lame Name Game

If your name is "Gina", you do not want to go to high school in Virginia, trust me.  Personalized license plates were popular at my school, and some common ones were those with the initials "VA" (for Virginia, of course), and your graduation year or name.  I considered getting plates with the nickname some students had graciously given me: "VA Gina", but I didn't think the DMV (or my parents) would allow it.

If your last name is also "Crapson" (like my maiden name is) then you are probably already used to being picked on because of your name, so it won't bother you as much.  Yes, that is pronounced exactly like you think it is: Crap son.  If you are like my sister Lori who first got rid of "Crapson" by marrying a man with the last name "Lupori", thus making your name "Lori Lupori", well all I can say is: you brought it on yourself, Lo Lupo.

Apparently one of my ancestors actually changed our last name to "Crapson", so it must have been really bad before!  Growing up with the name required a sense of humor, and whenever anyone would say "Crap!" in front of my dad, he would always respond "Don't take my name in vain!"

VA Gina Crapson is now NE Gina Ethridge (Mrs. GE), and Lori Lupori is now Lori Vanderplow (Mrs. VP).  Our new names are the sole reason we married our husbands.  Just kidding!  Although I do sometimes wonder what possessed my mother, who had a perfectly fine last name, to marry a man named "Crapson".  That's true love if I ever saw it!

My sister Brandi and I were both named after songs, and we argue over which song is worse.  While"Brandi, You're a Fine Girl" is not exactly my cup of tea, I still think it's slightly better than "Gina". The song may suck, but I do like my name, and I'm just glad I wasn't named "Sissy", or something like that.

Leonard: I hate my name, it has "nerd" in it!

Photoshopoholic

The camera doesn't lie, but Photoshop does...

    

          

          

    

Disclaimer

The thoughts and views expressed on this blog are solely those of Gina Ethridge and/or Ginger the Annihilator, and do not necessarily reflect the those of John Roseberry-Shihan, anyone in the SRSK Organization, or the people of the State of Nebraska.

Mrs. Ethridge does not have any advanced degrees, nor does she claim to be an expert at anything. Ginger the Annihilator has no known super powers (unless you count awesomisity) and she is usually more of a villain than a hero. Most of what you will read here are the random ramblings of a reckless rebel who doesn't even follow her own advice.

Do not attempt to perform anything you see or read about on this blog, unless under the supervision of a qualified professional. Especially not rapping, it's harder than it seems.

Enter at your own risk. Not responsible for lost or stolen items. You break it, you buy it.  Absolutely no zombies allowed.

Under Pressure

The reasons I love Jiu-Jitsu are almost as complicated as Jiu-Jitsu itself, but in the beginning one of the biggest draws for me was even though I was terrible at it, I had a lot of fun.  When I was a new student and I didn't feel as though I had any expectations on me, I could actually enjoy my awkwardness as I struggled to figure out how to move my body in all of these new and uncomfortable ways.

Then the more I learned, the more I realized I didn't know.  The path seemed to grow longer every day.  The perspective I gained from experience made me understand just how far I had to go. 

When I made it to blue belt, I started to feel a pressure to "prove" myself, which was mostly self-imposed, but also had to do with the fact that I began to be on the senior side of rotation, so I was required to assist white belts.  After a few of them treated me as though I had nothing to offer, it only reinforced my own insecurity, along with the pressure to prove that I was worthy to wear my belt.

This led to Jiu-Jitsu becoming much less fun for me.  Since I felt as though grappling was the only way that I could show I did have knowledge and skill, I put expectations on myself with every roll.  Expectations which I most often did not live up to.  I found that even when I did meet expectations, it didn't really change anything about how I felt, or how I was treated.

So I decided that to fully get my fun back in Jiu-Jitsu, I have to let go of all expectations, both those which I put on myself, and the ones I imagine others have for me.  No more pressure, no more need to prove myself, no more negativity.

My new mindset allowed me to have a great time in Jiu-Jitsu class yesterday.  I laughed at my mistakes, and I didn't even become frustrated and/or quit when towards the end of class during the king of the mat guard-passing, I pulled a calf muscle.  I hurts quite a bit, but I can walk on it, so I think it's just a minor setback.  I'm going to try to keep on the sunny side of life.

On that note, if you haven't seen this Simpsons BJJ reference yet, you should watch it...

                                  "Crawl atop me and meet your doom!"

Play

I don't know why so many grown-ups seem to have forgotten how to play.  I can be very serious when I need to, but I could not imagine how boring life would be if I didn't find ways to amuse myself whenever possible.  I'm the kind of "adult" who jumps on the back of shopping carts and rides them through parking lots.  If there's a swing-set near me, there's a good chance I will be swinging, and if I see a tree that looks fun to climb, I will probably be climbing.  If you give me a box of crayons and some paper, I will color for hours.

Even when there are no toys around, I can still play.  I make up silly stories or poems in my head (which I occasionally share, but are usually just forgotten).  My family and I are always engaging in playful verbal sparring (or even actual rough-housing), and my daughter and I enjoy doing things like wearing wigs to the dojo to confuse our teacher.  Skyler also thinks it's funny to talk to me in German (which I do not speak), so I often respond to her in Spanish (which she doesn't understand).  We also punch whoever is in the car with us when we see a yellow vehicle, or, of course, a VW Bug.  I used to jump on Joe's back and make him give me piggyback rides all of the time, but since I started Jiu-Jitsu he's always afraid I'm going to choke him, so now he just tries to throw me.

When I was working at the Jiu-Jitsu State Games, I stuck pencils in my ponytails so that it looked like I had antennae.  My sole purpose in doing so was to make people smile, not to use them as weapons (as Martínez claimed!).  As I write this, I am wearing a tiara, simply because I want to.  I like giving fun nicknames and assigning theme songs to my friends.  I don't care if people think I'm silly or immature, because I enjoy having fun, and I will never be too old to play.  Joy is a balm that soothes the soul, so I look for opportunities to create it whenever I can.

"Growing up leads to growing old and then to dying, and dying to me don't sound like all that much fun." -John Mellencamp

Googlin'

At first I adored Google, I loved being able to run to it with any random question that popped into my head.  Things that used to keep me wondering for day, weeks, or even months could now be solved with a keystroke...What was the 80's game with the colored lights and notes that played in a pattern that you had to repeat?  Simon!  What are the names of all the members of The WuTang Clan?  RZA, GZA, Method Man, Raekwon, Ghostface Killah, Inspectah Deck, U-God, Masta Killa, Ol' Dirty Bastard, and sometimes Cappadonna (I actually remembered all but one of those on my own, sorry Masta Killa).  What is 67 x 142?  9514!  One time, I even googled "Google".

Then once the initial thrill wore off, I started to become frightened of Google.  I realized I had become too dependent on it, and I could no longer imagine life without it.  How would I ever solve such pressing questions as "What is the name of the band that did that song Push th' Little Daisies?"  Ween!  I also began to worry that Google knows too much, because it always had an answer for everything I asked (maybe not the right answer, but an answer nonetheless).  The fact that their slogan is "Don't be evil" did nothing to alleviate my concerns, it sounds like something an evil person would say to try to convince people they aren't evil.

However now my Google fears have subsided a little, because I have discovered that it is not omniscient.  I recently saw a rerun of 30 Rock, and Frank's hat said "Alabama footsweep".  Naturally I was curious as to what that was, so I asked my good buddy Google, but it had no answer!  I tried a few different searches, and I still have no idea what an Alabama footsweep is.  Yahoo and Bing don't know, either.  I guess it's good to wonder, because now my imagination is working on trying to figure out what it is.  I've decided that an Alabama footsweep is when people in Alabama put socks on and sweep the floor with their feet.

So yeah, Google, you think you're sooooooo smart, but you don't know everything!  Ha!  I am actually my husband's Google, because he always texts me random questions which I answer for him (and 80% of the time I do so without actual Google!).  I would like to point out to him that unlike the other Google, I DO know everything, and I am always right.  I don't care what the dictionary says.

But seriously, is Google not one of the best things ever?!  Or rather, The Internet, from which Google draws all of it's power.  Vast amounts of information are available with a click, and it has completely changed the world.

Brought to you by the letter M

There was much martial merriment at the SRSK Convention, but I think the highlight for me was when someone (who I shall simply call "M" to protect his identity) thought that he could just duck out of my full nelson.  Silly M!  So I challenged him to let me put him in one and see if he could get out.  He ended up resorting to prying my fingers off to escape (as I instructed him to do).  I teased that he was lucky I didn't take him to the ground with it, which his son N then insisted that I demonstrate. I pulled M into back control, and once I got my hooks in, he was totally immobilized.  He should just be glad that I was kind enough to not choke him! 

I didn't show such kindness to my husband Joe, who I got revenge against (for telling people that I had quit Karate) by jumping on his back and choking him until he tapped!  After I let go, he took me down and tried to triangle me, but I escaped.  Then Sensei B decided he wanted a piece of me, so he jumped in and got me in side control, but the whole time he was whispering "Don't make me look bad!".  Bwahahaha!

See, I can't even go to a Karate convention without sneaking in a little Jiu-Jitsu!  It was during that short grappling interlude that I somehow managed to dislocate my toe (the little piggy that stayed home).  I taped it and went back to doing Karate, then about fifteen minutes later I accidentally caught it on the mat and relocated it back into place!  I kid you not.  The dislocating didn't really hurt much, but the relocating did!  At least it's basically straight again. 

During the convention some of my Super Senior Sensei also had a little fun by sneaking up behind me and putting me in RNCs.  No one actually choked me, but they let me know that they could if they wanted to.  I did not challenge any of those people to a full nelson contest...I may be crazy, but I am not stupid!  Even M and J could probably have escaped my clutches, if they had used all of their weapons against me.  They both have plenty of ammo, but neither one of them even fired a warning shot...which is a good thing, because Jiu-Jitsu is a little harder when you're dodging bullets...even for a G like me!

The '80s were grody to the max!

When I see '80s nostalgia, it gags me with a spoon! As someone who spent her teenage years in the 1980s, I am qualified to declare that the '80s sucked! Totally. First of all, I had to spend at least an hour doing my hair before I could leave the house. Everything was excessive in the '80s, especially hair. The entire U.S. looked like the Jersey Shore! Blow dryer, mousse, hot rollers, curling iron, ratting, Aqua Net, more ratting, more Aqua Net, flip hair upside down, more Aqua Net...I personally apologize to the ozone layer for my 1980s hair. The biggest nemesis of an '80s hairstyle was rain, which would turn our helmet hair into slimy goo! Also, open flames were to be avoided at all costs.  "Your hair, your hair, your hair is on fire, we don't need no water..."

Then there were the super skinny jeans, which unlike today's variety were not made out of comfy stretchy denim. No, they were completely unforgiving. In order to get them on, you had to lay down on the bed, suck everything in, hold your breath, shimmy into them, and then pry the zipper closed. If it was too hard to pull it up with my fingers, I would hook a wire coat hanger through the zipper and yank. There's no way I would have been able to do martial arts wearing those jeans!

Don't even get me started on video games in the 1980s! At least we did have home systems, so we didn't have to hang out at the arcade, but there were serious flaws, especially the lack of memory so you couldn't save your game. If you had been playing for seventeen hours straight, and you were just about to beat the big boss, and then your stupid sister tripped over the cord and unplugged it, you had to start all over...from the beginning!!! Crappy controllers with cords on them, and repetitive midi music that would seep into your brain and play in your head every time you tried to go to sleep! It's only been a few years since I finally stopped having Tetris nightmares.

I must admit that I do still have an enormous fondness for '80s music, but our method of listening to it back then sucked, despite what my husband (who still listens to cassette tapes) thinks! I do agree with him that cassettes are slightly better than CDs (because I can usually repair a broken cassette with a pencil and tape, but a broken CD is garbage), and 8 tracks were one of the stupidest things ever created. Walkmans were better than boomboxes, but my iPod makes all of them look like a ridiculous joke!

Shoulder pads sucked, pantyhose sucked, Cabbage Patch Kids sucked, jelly shoes sucked, the Cold War sucked, mullets sucked, Rubik's cubes sucked, acid-washed jeans sucked, leg warmers sucked, the PMRC sucked, being a teenager sucked...

Oh alright, the 1980s weren't all bad. Besides the music, there are a few other things I liked...slam-dancing, break-dancing, Super Mario Bros., 21 Jump Street, scratch and sniff stickers, The Smurfs, ponytails on the side of the head, my Adidas, friendship bracelets, The Lost Boys, roller-skating, Trapper Keepers, fingerless gloves, Doc Martens, mohawks...

And why were glasses so huge in the '80s?
Was it so when you looked at them sideways
they looked like a big number eight?

They say that if you can remember the '80s, then you weren't really there. No, wait, that's the '60s, and I was only around for the last six months of that...which I don't remember at all, so they're right! No matter how much I sometimes wish I could forget the '80s, I can't deny the impact that the decade had on me. If I had only known that things were going to be so much cooler when I grew up! Back to the Future lied about the hoverboards, but most of the new millenium has been righteously tubular!

Top five '80s slang words I still use on a regular basis:

5) Wicked. 4) Dude. 3) Like. 2) Totally. 1) Awesome.

Make your move!

I imagine that my matches at the Jiu-Jitsu tournament on Saturday are going to go something like this, except I won't be fighting a guy...

Q & A

Sometimes people come to Ginger Snaps with questions, so I thought I would select a few and answer them, just to be helpful. 

Q)  why doesn't hello kitty have a mouth 

A)  Why don't people in South Park have noses?  Why does Mickey Mouse wear gloves?  Why does SpongeBob have a squirrel friend?
Because they're freakin' cartoons!

Q)  what to say to a ginger

A)  I am unworthy to be in the presence of such a goddess/god!

Q)  what comes after white belt in karate

A)  Total enlightenment.

Q)  sho-rei-shobu-kan legit?
 
A)  "My people we don't know defeat,  we crush the strong and percolate the weak daily." 

Q)  are wrestlers naked in a singlet

A)  Ewww!

Q)  nok su kow meaning 

 A)  White warrior.

Q)  how to destroy someone in a street fight

A)  Destroy?  Grenade.
 
Q)  what rhymes with crucifix

A)  Mucinex?

Q)  what rhymes with ginger

A)  Annihilator.

Q)  i thought you were a leprechaun

A)  Not really a question, but I thought I should address it.  It's a common misconception, but I have no leprechaun blood in me. 

Q)  are you a loser

A)  "I am so hot, in my skills there be propane."

Q)  why women should learn jiu jitsu 

A)  Because submissions are a girl's best friend!

Punch the Clown

One of the reasons Jiu-Jitsu doesn't satisfy all of my martial cravings is because in Jiu-Jitsu we are not allowed to punch things, and I really like punching things, punching things is fun! I think my favorite thing to punch is ribs, but punching bags is also pleasing.

I believe my love of punching things was born when I was about four and my dad bought me "Punch the Clown", whose sole purpose of existence was to be punched. You can see from the picture that I loved Punch! Even though my dad and uncle destroyed Punch by punching him one too many times, the short time I had with him is forever etched in my brain. Ever since then I have loved punching things, especially clowns. To this day it's not safe for me to go to a circus or be around Shriners, because I am overcome with an irresistible urge to punch clowns in their big red noses!

I don't remember ever kicking Punch, because his name was clearly not Kick the Clown. Which might explain why I am not as fond of kicking things as I am of punching them. Even all these years after Punch's tragic death, he still holds a special place in my heart. I dedicate this poem to him.

Weebles may wobble and not fall down

But no toy was as cool as Punch the Clown

He was a friend I cannot replace

Because he let me punch him in the face

Angie

We had a mock Jiu-Jitsu tournament at the dojo yesterday, to work out any bugs in our bracketing software before the State Games this year. Instead of actual competitors, Amy and Dave just entered random names into the computer, then we ran it as if the matches were actually happening. We had two laptops awarding points and advantages, determining the winners, then sending the info back to the main computer. Luckily, everything seemed to be working really well.

As far as the matches went, Angelina Jolie was the clear front-runner of the day. She won all of her matches by submission within about twenty seconds. No points were scored on either side, because Angie don't play for points! A couple of times her competitors just submitted to her on sight. She won her final match against Katniss Everdeen with a flying triangle in under ten seconds.

On the men's side, Angie's old man, Brad Pitt, also did extremely well. He averaged about forty points per match, and he was awarded several advantages simply for being hot. Personally, I thought Elmer Fudd got a raw deal in their match because Brad was clearly above his weight class, but the little guy held his own (although I did get tired of hearing him complain that it was "unfaiw", and that he would have won if he could have used "buwwets"). Brad's strongest competition was George of the Jungle, but he was still a little woozy from running into a tree on the way to the tournament, so Brad emerged victorious.

I would have liked to have seen an absolute match between Angelina and Brad, but Brad declined, saying "Are you kidding me?! Even Chuck Norris knows better than to fight Angie!". Mr. Pitt is pretty smart for such a good-looking guy! After the competition ended, we all hopped in Dr. Who's TARDIS and went back in time to the beginning of the mock tournament, just so we could do it all over again! Good times.

New mats on St. Pat's!

Tearing out old mats and installing new ones is a pretty fun way to spend a St. Patrick's Day! Our dojo has been needing to replace our worn out mats, and we managed to get a deal to buy some at a third of the cost, so we were able to do a full replacement. We had a human conveyor belt of about twenty people to bring the mats in today, and I was closest to the truck, so I had to lift one hundred mat sections over my head, which was quite a workout!

As soon as the last section of mat was in place, a Jiu-Jitsu free-for-all broke out, with about seven of us hitting the mat and grappling! I jumped guard on Martínez, and if I had not been wearing jeans I'm pretty sure I would have submitted him, but The Latin Thug tapped me with an ankle lock. Conan had Fuji in knee on belly, then Mike jumped in and heel hooked Fuji, causing Fuji to exclaim "Who?! What?!".

Unbeknownst to me at the time, the entire episode was being captured on video, and when I watched it I thought "I don't remember a leprechaun being there.", but then I realized it was ME! With my bright green shirt and red hair, I looked like a wee lass being crushed by a hairy beast when I was grappling with Martínez! My shirt said "Don't worry, I'm just going to choke you.", and Martínez said I should amend it to say "Don't worry, I'm just going to try to choke you." That cut me, it cut me deep, bro. Someday I will make you choke on those words!

The best part about having new mats (besides having new mats) is that I am going to be able to buy a few intact sections of the old ones, which means that I am finally going to have a mat in my house! We're going to clear out the office, leaving nothing but the mat and computer, so I will have a mat directly behind where I am now sitting. I will even be able to watch videos from the mat! Oh, the luck o' the Irish!

Half Breed

My natural hair color

I have a confession to make...I'm only half ginger.  My mom is a full ginger (although she has been dying her hair blond for years), and my dad had dark brown hair.  I got a little of both, so my natural hair color is really reddish-brown, not true "penny copper" ginger red.  When I was younger I hated the red in my hair, and I dyed it all different colors (blonde, brown, striped, pink) but at some point I decided to just embrace it.  Now I have been "enhancing" the red in my hair for so long that most people who know me think I am all ginger.

I can pull it off because I did inherit ginger skin.  It comes in three shades, depending on my degree of sun exposure; white, freckled, and lobster.  I think one of the reasons I look somewhat young for my age is because I gave up on the hope of ever getting a tan a long time ago, and I stayed in the shade where gingers belong!

Not my natural hair color

A few years ago one of my Sensei gave me the nickname "Ginger the Annihilator", which led to me naming this blog "Ginger Snaps".  Although I am technically not a full ginger, I think it's obvious to everyone that I am evil and I have no soul, so being ginger suits me.  Besides, which is scarier...a ginger who can't help it because they were born that way, or one who chooses to subject themselves to the torture of being a redhead?

I see "Ginger" as sort of my alter-ego, which makes me feel more comfortable coming out of my shell.  Gina is a shy, sensitive person who really doesn't want to hurt a fly, but Ginger...well, she might "shoot a man in Reno, just to watch him die".

Q: What’s the fastest way to a man’s heart if you’re a redhead?
A: Through his ribcage.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Ginger

I once took a silly quiz that was supposed to reveal your martial arts age and style. It said that I was a six year-old ninja. I was pretty happy with those results, because I would love to be a ninja! Unfortunately I can't technically be one, because I don't train ninjitsu, and I would probably make a terrible ninja, because I'm not very stealthy. I do, however, love to wear black.

As for the six year-old part, yeah, that's about right. Sometimes I'm afraid I drive my instructors crazy because I'm always asking "Why? Why? Why?" I can't help it, to really understand what I'm doing I feel like I need to know why I'm doing it. Sometimes they even respond as frustrated parents of a six year-old would "Because I said so, that's why!" Hai Sensei!

Also, most people of rank in Jiu-Jitsu class can submit me as if I was six. Even when I attempt to ninja up on them, they just pat me on the head and say "Nice try, pumpkin." In Karate, they like to put their hand against my forehead and laugh at me while I feverishly punch and kick at them, but can't reach. Then I go home and cry about how the big kids are picking on me.

The life of a six year-old wanna-be ninja is not for the faint of heart. It's not just all recess and assassinating! You have to work hard and study, behave in class and follow the rules. It's all worth it, though, because every once in awhile I actually defeat the big kids, and then I get to go home and make up a song about how awesome I am...

Ha ha, I beat you

Because I'm a ninja

And that's what I do

And I'm better than you

So ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

(Hey, I'm six, it can't be high art)

I'm really looking forward to the future of my martial arts training. The way I see it, in about ten years I will be a teenage ninja, and if the big kids think I'm a handful now, they have no idea what's in store for them. Cowabunga!

"But you must realize that while at times you might not be my favorite student, it does not mean that you are my least favorite. 
Do not embarrass your Sensei." -Master Splinter

Naykid pepol no cloths

Someone came to this blog yesterday by searching for "naykid pepol no cloths", which amuses me to no end. I'm sure they were greatly disappointed, because I do not now, nor do I ever intend to, have any pictures of naykid pepol with no cloths here. Not that I have anything against naykid pepol, they can be super awesome! Unless they are clothless because they are on illicit substances. Taking off your cloths is a common step on the drug-induced rollercoaster as total insanity sets in, so you should avoid interactions with those kind of naykid pepol!

So, if you're searching for some naykid pepol, sorry, you're in the wrong place. Unless by "naykid" you mean pepol training without gis on (which kind of feels to me like I have no cloths).  It's not very difficult to find naykid pepol on the internet, but this isn't the place. Even my gingerbread pepol have cloths!

Xboxing Day

It's now officially been six weeks since I broke my wrist, which means I don't have to wear the stupid cumbersome brace on my arm all of the time anymore!  I also cut off those super annoying long fingernails that I was cultivating. Oh, happy day!

Goodbye brace, hello Skyrim! Instead of Boxing Day, I hereby proclaim it to be Xboxing Day. I'll need a little bit of play boxing before I can get back to some real boxing. I'll see everyone in about a week...or two...

"I be kicking game like I roundhoused the Xbox."

I think, therefore I am (Jean Grey)

I've had too much time to think lately. Thinking and thinking (not doing), just thinking. Of course, a lot of that thinking has been about Jiu-Jitsu. Now after days and weeks (going on months) of nothing but thinking, I guess I've run out of practical Jiu-Jitsu things to think about, so I've started to contemplate pointless topics such as "I wonder what would happen if I grappled with some of my Karate Sensei!" Submissions are a part of our Karate curriculum, and most of these people have also trained Judo.

JP (Captain America)- He probably can't grapple because he has a bad back (from being a National Champion Husker Blackshirt). Otherwise, he would submit me rather quickly, but ever so kindly. Which I would actually prefer to sparring with him, and seeing his giant fist (which I'm positive is as large as my head) coming at me. It gives me nightmares...fe fi fo fum!

BS (Iron Man)- Skins vs. Shirts! Oh, he would definitely submit me, and it would be very painful, and he would thoroughly enjoy it. Of course, if it did happen the other way around, he wouldn't mind that, either. Before he tapped me out, he would probably pinch me really hard on the underside of the arm, or the inside of the thigh, and he'd also tweak some pressure points, just for fun.

BG1 (Professor X)- Although I believe he is absolutely capable of submitting me, I don't think he would, at least not right away. I imagine he would be more of a defensive grappler, calm and patient, and he would prefer to just flow. He'd be a soul roller, Zen X.

TV (Superman)- Well, he is The Man of Steel. However, I don't think he's ever really done any grappling, so maybe Jiu-Jitsu is his kryptonite! Even so, he's as big as Treebeard, so the smart bet is on the side of Truth, Justice, and the American way.

ES (Flash)- This match is unlikely to happen, because he prefers a six-foot space between himself and his opponent. I can't get anywhere near him without getting kicked in the head, and it happens faster than the human eye can detect! Otherwise, if I could actually get close, I think I could beat him.

BG2 (Billy Jack)- I've grappled with him before, and I almost submitted him the last time (which was over a year ago) so I got this one. Ya hearrrd me! I don't care how many people he choked when he was with the LPD! He likes to tell stories about how he once choked me out, but he neglects to mention that I let him. Try, try as hard as you can, you can't choke ME, Mr. Fireman.

KH (Batman)- I roll with him all the time, so I can tell you exactly how it will go...I will repeatedly try to submit him, and he will laugh defiantly, which will only make me want to submit him even more. Then I will get tired, become frustrated, give up, and sulk off to plot new plans of attack. Someday I will rise from the ashes, and I will finish him!

"No longer am I the woman you knew! I am fire! And life incarnate! 

Now and forever -- I am PHOENIX!"