Aggression

A fellow Jiu-Jitsu student once asked me to teach them how to be more aggressive, but I'm not sure it's something that can be taught.  Even though I am usually passive in most of my life, in all the forms of fighting that I do, I am aggressive to a fault.  I guess I just don't really think about what might be done to me, because I am too busy thinking about what I want to do to them.  Gary G. gave me the nickname "I would rather choke you out than breathe myself".  It works well for me a lot of the time, especially against less experienced people, because they can't attack me if they're busy defending.  However it doesn't really work against my seniors, because they just intercept my attack and use it against me.  Or they wait for me to wear myself out, then they come in for the kill.

In several of the tournaments that I've done, I've had complete strangers come up to me after I competed and tell me that they enjoyed watching me fight.  I find this to be a little awkward, because I'm not comfortable talking to strangers, and I'm not thrilled about having spectators when I compete.  It is flattering, and the most common thing I've heard is "You have a lot of heart."  I believe that's a polite way of saying "You are a crazy bitch!".  I think it's because I have more guts than brains, and I'm not afraid to lose, so I give it my all.  As long as there is an ounce of energy left in me, I am going to keep trying to finish the fight.  I just can't help it.

The moral of the story is "Be aggressive, b, e, aggressive!".  Just kidding, there is no moral.  Shihan always says that when we compete, we should make our opponents never want to fight us again, and I equate that to mean "bring it"!  I don't really know where my aggression comes from, or how to teach it to someone else, but I look at it as a gift.  It's basically a freedom from fear, and fighting is one of the few times in my life that I feel that.

Woo!