Dream On

Since I seem to be on the subject of MMA, I thought this would be a good time to admit that if I was ten years younger (maybe even five years), I have no doubt that I would be a cage fighter. It might be hard for some people to understand, but I feel like that's where I belong. There is a big part of me that would like to try it at least once, just to see how it feels, and to find out if I could really do it.

Of course, I can barely compete at a tournament when there's a small audience without having a panic attack, so I don't know how I could possibly walk out in front of a big crowd without passing out. I also know that to even get to that point, I would have to work harder than I have ever worked in my entire life.

I am 42 years old, and prior to age 36 I had no martial or athletic training at all. Most people in MMA have retired by the time they are my age. Although there are a million reasons why I know this should just remain a dream, once in a while I find it hard to let go. I actually think I could still make it happen if I really wanted it bad enough. I have no illusions that I could go anywhere with it, but I think I could get a fight. I would most likely lose that fight, but I really don't even care.

I'm not getting any younger, and this dream isn't getting any closer, so someday it will probably just fade away. I finally figured out what I really wanted to be when I grew up, but it's about twenty years too late.

In my dreams, this is my MMA walk-out song. It just totally makes me feel like beating someone up, which I believe is the point.   

"Stand back if you frightened!  Yeah, get back cause we fighting!"