Joe said he would choke them by stuffing the TP down their throat.
Skyler said she would choke them by wrapping the TP around their neck.
I said I would braid the TP into a rope, and then choke them with that.
Looking at this completely objectively, and with no bias whatsoever, I think it's obvious I win. Joe's plan is impractical. Perhaps he could hold someone down long enough to force-feed them TP until they choke, but I don't think it would work for me. Skyler is on the right track, but I don't think you could wrap the TP tight enough without it tearing (even if it's two-ply). With my plan, I just have to ninja up behind them with my TP tourniquet and it's lights out! Therefore, I believe I deserve the title of "Best Ethridge TP Assassin".
(Disclaimer: Seriously, this is not serious. The Ethridges do not condone killing anyone with toilet paper (or by any other means). We do not even condone TP'ing houses on Halloween.)